Revelations

Thoughts become things. My negative thoughts about dating and meeting this boy who I like manifest -- and they certianly have this week. My negativeness, my funkiness, my weirdness about the interactions with this online boy turned into him not calling me. Plain and simple. It makes sense. While I was not explicitly telling him to now call me, my thoughts, feelings, and vibes which all focused on what if he didn't call or ever wanted to see me again manifested into exactly what I did not want. I need to get my head right...and I defintely feel that I am. I have faith that my change in thought will overturn the funkiness and manifestations of my negativeness. I know this can happen, but I first have to make sure my actions are not contradicting my desires. To help my gain perspective and clarity about what I want, here is my list of my conrete desires. All of these statements are in the present tense, because these things will happen.

1. I am staying in Austin, TX to work and finish my PhD
2. I am accepted into the PhD program at UT
3. I am in a relationship with the guy I met online
4. I am going to NYC for the summer internship program
5. I am going to Tokyo to present my paper at the conference
6. For the first time in my life, I am living with my boyfriend -- he asked me to move in.
7. I have an amazing relationship with his son.
8. I can afford my trip to Tokyo. I recieved a grant to travel.
9. I have found someone to sublease my apartment over the summer.